literature

A Little Catastrophe (Chapter 1)

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Literature Text

    Nepeta typed a goodbye to Terezi and closed her husktop. It had been a super long day, she had spent the whole day hunting and roleplaying. She even got to talk to Karkat, though it was just a brief interaction. Nepeta blushed and looked at her shipping wall, where a drawing of her and Karkat colored a small portion of the wall. Then, she realized that she must be missing something on her shipping wall.
    Nepeta got up and stretched then grabbed her paint and made her way over to her shipping wall,being cautious as to not disturb her sleeping lusus. She started drawing two of her friends with a heart between them. There, all done. Seeing her drawing made her insides twist, how should she feel about this? It went against everything that she cherished. Under the drawing she wrote three question marks. She'd come back to this later.
   But she couldn't stop thinking about it as she put away her paint and curled up next to her lusus. Would they really be good for each other? Nepeta rolled around, trying to make herself comfortable but it was of no use, she couldn't sleep. Could Sollux and Karkat really make a good couple?
Nepeta has a new ship, and she doesn't know how to feel about it.
My first fanfic ^^; I'm sorry it's so short but I'll be continuing it
plz comment and fav, it means a lot!!! 
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LotusJadeThorn's avatar
There's an instance of repetitiveness here that disrupts the reading, as highlighted in bold: "... a small portion of the wall. Then, she realized that she must be missing something on her shipping wall."

You need to break up your sentences with more punctuation, as you overlook natural pauses and tend to just run on. Let the reader catch their breath! :giggle: Such instances include here: "
Nepeta got up and stretched then grabbed her paint and made her way..." It's very rushed.

You use of rhetorical question is well placed. Nice technique :nod:

Overall, a short and sweet piece with a satisfying hook, although I feel I need to know the characters more to care about whether they're together or not. That's always the challenge of course; making characters three dimensional.